Childhood sexual abuse is devastatingly common. Unfortunately, spotting sexual abuse in children can be difficult because they don’t often come right out and tell adults about the abuse. However, there are warning signs you can look out for to spot it. Here are some ways you can spot sexual abuse in children, both by paying close attention to the children and the adults in your life.
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Tip #1: Check for Physical Warning Signs
Even if your child doesn’t tell you about the abuse, physical warning signs can be a huge clue. If your child develops signs of a sexually transmitted infection (STI), this could be a warning sign of abuse. Signs of STIs in children can include abnormal genital discharge, burning during urination, and sores in the genital area.
You might also notice physical signs of abuse on their body such as bruising or bleeding, especially around the genital area. You might also notice blood on their underwear, sheets, or clothing. Your child might also develop new and unexplained health problems, such as headaches or an upset stomach.
Tip #2: Pay Attention to What Your Child is Saying
On the flip side, if you notice that your child seems to be keeping secrets or is just not talking as much as usual, this could be a warning sign as well.
Tip #3: Watch Your Child’s Behavior
You might notice that your child no longer wants to spend time with specific adults or other children, or they might not want to be left alone with certain people. This behavior might not even be related to specific people, rather, your child might suddenly feel an intense need to not be separated from you. They might also spend a lot more time alone than normal, perhaps locking themselves in their room or not wanting to join the family for fun activities.
Other behavioral signs include developmental regressions. For example, your child might start wetting the bed again or sucking their thumb. They also might become overly compliant. This is something to keep an eye on, especially if this behavior is out of the ordinary for them.
Some children who are victims of sexual abuse also engage in self-harm behaviors. Watch for signs of this, such as cuts on their arms or body, wearing long sleeves even in hot weather, unexplained bruises, or blood on their clothing or sheets.
Tip #4: Look for Emotional Changes
Sexual abuse can affect your child’s emotions, perhaps making them moody or aggressive. You might also notice that they have a decreased self-worth or self-image. They might worry a lot or be scared of things that didn’t scare them in the past. They might especially be afraid to be alone at night, and they might also develop new nightmares.
A child who used to be lively and loved going to school might suddenly lose interest in school, friends, and after-school activities.
Tip #5: Pay Attention to the Adults Around Your Child
Just as you can spot signs of abuse in your child, you can also spot signs of abuse coming from the perpetrator. Often, the person is somebody the child knows, perhaps a family member or employee at their school. Here are some red flags to look for in the adults in your child’s life:
- Not respecting boundaries or not listening when you ask them not to do something
- Touching your child inappropriately, especially if they don’t listen when you ask them to stop
- Acting more like a friend than an adult figure
- Finding reasons to be alone with your child
- Commenting on your child’s appearance in an inappropriate way or commenting on their sexual development
- Taking an intense interest in your child; for example, giving them gifts or spending an excessive amount of time with them
- Attempting to restrict your child’s access to other adults
What to do if You Notice Signs of Abuse
If you notice any of these warning signs, it does not definitely mean your child has been sexually abused. For example, a regression in potty training could be a sign of a medical issue, and sudden clingy behavior could simply be a normal period of separation anxiety. The important thing is to know your child and to take action if something seems off. These behaviors described above can clue you in that you might want to pay closer attention to your child, contact their healthcare provider, or contact someone else who can help, like a sexual assault service provider.
If your child has been sexually abused, it’s also important to report the abuse as this can help you get justice for your child and prevent their abuser from abusing other children. Recently, many people have come forward in the state of New York seeking justice for sexual abuse they’ve experienced at schools, religious institutions, and juvenile detention facilities. If you or your child have been the victim of sexual abuse, we can help you seek justice by connecting you with a lawyer to evaluate your situation. We deeply care about your safety and wellness and want to ensure you get all the help you deserve.
